Driving
by AnimeCat
Summary: The little married couple, Heero and Relena, are taking a little drive..... Relena seems a tad stressed...what does she have to confess? ^_-- R&R!!


AnimeCat: Okay, this is a Relena-bashing fic. Don't flame me for it, OKAY?? I write HYxRP, too. And anyway, this isn't a yaoi. Just a joke. There *is* a rather unusual paring that I think very few people like, but I thought it would be funny. Don't flame me for that, either!! I **HATE** that pairing, but I wanted people to be like "HUH???". It's a joke!! For the last time, NO FLAMES.  
  
chibi neko Relena: *looks up from computer* You hate me, don't you?  
  
AnimeCat: No...but you can be annoying. Now get back to work!   
  
*chibi neko Relena grumbles and goes back to work*  
  
AnimeCat: I got the idea for this by a joke that my friend Faythsan's dad told me.   
  
Disclaimer: GW characters aren't mine!! Don't sue!!  
  
@-------  
  
One nice summer day, Heero and Relena Yuy(yeah, they're married) went for a drive. The birds were singing their little birdy music, and the sun was shining. So they dropped off their kids at Quatre's house, despite his weak protest that he couldn't handle Heero and Relena's demon spawn children one more time.  
  
So they're driving, and the car is really quiet. Then Relena turns to Heero and says,  
  
"Sorry, Love, but I have to tell you something." She says seriously.   
  
Heero turns to his wife and smiles. "Sure, snookums." (about this time, AnimeCat is getting a tad nervous about this fic...)  
  
She doesn't smile. "I'm having an affair with Duo." (AnimeCat ponders what she just wrote and bangs her head on her keyboard a few times. ick ick ick ick...)  
  
The smile vanishes, but Heero doesn't say anything. He looks back to the road and speeds up a litttle bit.   
  
"And I want a divorce."  
  
Heero says nothing, just speeds up a little more. Relena doesn't notice.  
  
"I want full custody of Reena, Helen, and Madison.(1)"  
  
Heero says nothing, just speeds up a little more. They are *really* coasting at this point.  
  
"I want the house(2), the car, and the boat."  
  
Heero says nothing, just speeds up a little more. They are sort of heading off the road.  
  
"I want you to pay for it all."   
  
Heero begins to smile ever-so-slightly. He speeds up again. Relena casually looks at the speedometer. The little arrow is well into the 100 and 10's at this point.   
  
"Did you hear a word I just said?" She snapped, annoyed.   
  
"Yes." Heero monotones. They are totally off the road at this point. Heading at a very fast speed toward a phone pole.   
  
"Well??"   
  
He turns back to her and gives her an *evil* smile. Just before they collide with certain death (ha!!), Heero leans over and says,  
  
"I've got the airbag."  
  
@-------  
  
AnimeCat: *imitates that kid on The Simpsons* HA HA. Just kidding, gomen, I just *had* to write this!! It was going to be a Heero-basher and yaoi, you know, Relena would have been the driver, but my dear friend Faythsan would have killed me if I killed off her precious Perfect Soldier. In return *gives deathglare*, if she ever killed off Shinigami....THE PAIN WOULD NEVER END!!!! MUWHAHAHA!!  
  
1- The names are real names I got from a book. Madison means 'son of a soldier', so, why not, eh?  
  
2- She abdicated from Sanq, right? If not, lets just say she did.  
  
Read and Review, for the sake of all those *poor* souls who want chapter 4 of Everything I Own, chapter 4 of Only Meeting And Parting, Again And Again, chapter 7 of Demons, and chapter 3 of I Don't Know You Anymore. If I don't get reviews I stop writing....and you wouldn't want that, r-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ight?  
  
chibi Duo: Don't you ever SLEEP??  
  
AnimeCat: Sleep? What the hell is that?? *looks at tiny planner* Write fanfiction...read fanfiction...review fanfiction...think up plots...eat...look through CDs for lyrics...write more fanfiction......and here's School at the bottom of the list. *smiles and tosses the planner* Nope! I guess I don't!  
  
chibi Duo: *sweatdrops*  
  
R&R! Ja ne! 


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